Ytd I was with Shiru at the airport to send Daryl off, and we had some time to catch up on each other’s lives. Amidst everything we discussed, there was, of course, the issue of faith. In the recent weeks, I’ve begun questioning the existence of agape. The very act of agape (selfless love) is exemplified in Christ’s death on the cross.. But if at the beginning, God had the foreknowledge that we were going to sin anyway, with the result being a multitude of souls condemned to hell, why did He still choose to create us?

Reflexively, I thought:
1. For His pleasure. We were made to worship Him.
2. So that He could demonstrate His Love (because, according to the Bible, He could’ve made stones praise Him as well, so He technically doesn’t need us)
3. He thinks that being alive and given the opportunity to bask in His Glory is better option than being non-existent. (weird theory though, cuz then He might have created a whole host of other aliens)

So, can the proposition of selflessness stand under these considerations? Perhaps, the arbiter of this universe deserves His perks.. and Self-interest may not be entirely divorced from His Being. If such is the case, the act of creation is by no means altruistic, but the task of redemption was. Afterall, we were the damned and He could’ve, you know, just pangseh-ed us or something. And such a faithfulness is evident in the Bible, whether in the old or new testament… which leads one to ponder, is God stubborn and masochistic? Or just crazy in love.

Enter. Saltatory right-brained reflections

On another note, my study outing with Gu Wei has led to my encounter with the book, the Narcissism Epidemic. It is very telling of the current times where, given easy access to the plenteous platforms for self-promotion, people have developed a compulsion to be seen and heard – to gain a mini-celebrity status of sorts. But fame is an addiction, a fatuous one that expends unnecessary energy. It reveals a psyche dearth of self-contentment, and seeking approval as a cheap, artifical substitute to fill the void. I’ve always probed at my motivations for owning a blog, or for wanting to score well, and made sure that they were rid of hidden agendas, before I act. Nevertheless, I do fall prey to these feelings, especially since I’m type 4w3. The enneagram completely unravelled me, and in the past few days, after reading extensively about type 4 growth patterns, I’ve been able to quell discontent by going to its roots, and by consciously moderating many automated reactions that are intrinsic to type 4s, such as envy, excessive dwelling in fantasy, and the tendency to mentally abandon the present. A quick departure of point, the enneagram is apparently, more complex than I thought. Gu wei and I found an enneagram book which explained its interrelationship with atomic orbitals, and all that stuff. So it’s cool. And I’ll end here with a quote by Chris Crocker.

Well, to his defence, wisdom is wisdom, no matter who articulates it. Plus, people should not be seen in absolutes, there is no good and bad. Presence of bad, does not preclude good in the individual:

“it’s not healthy… I’m talking about the people who are on a pure mission to become famous, for absolutely no reason. They are not conscious of why they want to become famous, they just know they like the feeling. And if only they would realize that they want people to know them, because they don’t know themselves. You want people to know who you are to feel a void… When I was my most famous, I was my most unhappiest… It becomes an addiction. You don’t know why you want it, but you just like the feeling… and now that I’ve come back down to earth and I don’t have as much fame, I realised, I have so many people in my life that tried to use me just to get attention… You can’t trust anyone… You can’t even trust yourself, because you’ll do anything to keep it. Like I said, if you wanna share a talent with the world, that is completely and utterly different. Expressing yourself is different from whoring yourself. So put something else in the void. Know yourself and quit wanting others to know you. Once you know yourself. You’ll be content with that. That is the real fame.” – Chris

Then again, many people are pretty apathetic about what others think about them, and such is the diversity of this world. But for the rest, I hope this hits close to home and give you something to think about. Adieu, generation fame.

gaga,
Vbec