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Conversation With An Emo Lass
In the cab:
p: “sigh…” x infinity
a: “Hahaha, Why do you keep sighing?..”
p: “It’s my habit…(drawls, with upward inflection nearing the end)”
a: “But, when you sigh you release carbon dioxide..”
p: (laughs)
a: “Which is a greenhouse gas… which is harmful towards the atmosphere”
p: “(chuckles) I don’t care about the atmosphere”
a: “But.. it cares for you..” (flashes Barney smile)
& More
at home:
a: “OMG, what the heck are you talking about??”
chem notes: “…”
a: “You are obviously wrong……”
chem notes: (thinks) “….. and you are obviously stupid”.
I love calvin and hobbes! Its smart. And they like to talk about life and all. Supernatural is interesting! I have been reading up on the occult, and the freemasons and their involvement with black magic. I acutally read one of their books while standing in Kino, waiting for my cousin to arrive. The appendix had close to 7 long, aggrandized, incantations; each linked with. “if the spirit (demon) still does not arrive, recite the following”. And they have to draw all those stars and whatnot. They keep invoking the lord of the fallen light. Which is obviously satan la. cuz lucifer’s name means the carrier of light. Apparently those were long kept secrets by Saul from the Bible. He used to summon spirits anyway. Today’s service was interesting. Pastor Fui wanted each family to pray as a group. My mom started praying and she went all powderful on us. She’s quite the happy-go-lucky, “don’t bother me, son” kind. But she showed how perspicacious she can be. I switched from mugging, and lethargic mode, to tearing mode. I dint even see it coming. Her voice was tremulous. She dint even need to think. She jsut went on and on. Dinner at granmama’s was interesting as usual. Catching up with family members is fun stuff. While I was peeking into the fridge to hunt for binge options, my aunt came up to me and told me that she realized that I have a very kind heart, and I asked why? (the best i could mutter in an awkward social situations), and she said duno, and said that she just feels it. Women’s intuition eh. The heart’s two-sided lady (: . But im changing. Ate two bengawang solo cakes. and spent half the time empathizing next to my aunt who’s sick with a fungal attack kinda thing on her body. Apparently if the fungus forms a ring around u. u die. poof. gone. Additional time was spent on poring over her medication and querying her like I know plenty-a-lot. doxicyclin, tetracyclin. I like knowing abt medicine and their effects =X. Pharmacist?? Why must this ambition thing be so capricious. Urgh.
Oh yea dorothy’s prayer for me was awesome. Thanks. Much calmer now.
A farce it may be to most,
A child-of-God title is mine to boast!
Vbec
P.S.
“This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.” Joshua 1:8
XXX
This foreign feeling. sluiced me. it washes me.
that my words, try to construct, and build. but crumble.
That your words, should. Like a lance, impale through.
The rustic floodgates for which no keys could fit.
The meeting, the parting, the ride back to humble abodes.
The icy awkwardness, the murderous brevity, the uncertainty.
They proved a bad mirror.
Of everything; of the things I don’t deserve.
You lie amidst; scintillating, coruscating, gleeming.
Like an undying starburst; explodes, my heart.
That truly, from the bottomless bleakness of my love deprived spirit.
Should arise such a sanity.
Should mould a Phoenix out of me.
Should there be a thing (as such), I don’t deserve.
you.
P.S. woaa. my last post is slightly prophetic. you know who you are. Thank you for making me feel this happy.
P.S.S. from get smart:I request a cone of silence. “THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!”.
smiless
vbec
LYRICS:
you loved it so much in the city
you know i could not stand it there
you liked to get lost in the people
and pretend that they really care
well you know you’re such a bad imposter
hiding your wings beneath your coat
cause i watched your footprints making patterns
away from me into the snow
now i don’t believe in nothing anymore
cause love is permanent not temporary
and it’s driven straight into our chests, then buried
much too deep to just pull out like weeds in a garden
it’s permanent, im sorry..
so lately i’ve been going crazy
trying to get you off my mind
cause thoughts of you hang just like pictures
and gather dust over the time
well we hung them up just like real lovers
and drove our nails into the wall
cause we thought they’d be there forever
but we weren’t permanent at all..
and it’s getting much too hard to see you now
“Each one sees what he carries in his heart”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“I carry your heart(I carry it in my heart)”
E.E. Cummings
“The logic of the heart is absurd”
Julie de Lespinasse
“The heart has reasons that reason cannot know.”
Blaise Pascal quotes
“Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses.”
Lao Tzu quotes
“The greatest treasures are those invisible to the eye but found by the heart.”
Unknown
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Matthew 6:21
“Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.”
Song of Solomon 8:7
“Love is not written on paper, for paper can be erased. Nor is it etched on stone, for stone can be broken. But it is inscribed on a heart and there it shall remain forever.”
Unknown
“Probably the only thing magic concerning the mere life of a man, is the capacity of his heart to love, and its need to be loved. From there, the craft of creativity stems forth; and spills over as ebullience, heart-wrenching sorrow, and bittersweet release from the mundaneness of life”
Abraham (:
Vbec
P.S. How many would want to be able to say, this;
“I found the one whom my soul loves.”
Song of Solomon 3:4
Been to my cousin’s house, for a little catch up time. Had fun wrestling in bed =x. hot fun. like, hawt fun. She introduced some cute jap comic drama series, called, zettai kareshi which is supposed to be translated as, ideal boyfriend. It’s about this girl, who inadvertantly ordered a cyborg boyfriend who was programmed to her ideals.
The evening jog with my cousin, gave me substantial reasons to believe that her idolisation of the cyborg bloke, stems from a certain arcane form of relatablility. She freakin jogged to SRJC. Didn’t sleep too well. One nite, grandma came into room (duno why), and I was hell mean to her. And in the quiet of the night, the only thing i felt was a maelstrom of uneasiness at the shit I’ve become. You know something’s wrong, but, you duno where the problem is. I just let the thoughts constipate within my brainosphere. It mixed uncannily with the econs I was ingesting a while ago. “Quantity of a product that consumers are… why am i like this.. willing and able to purchase.. I need to change… ceteris paribus”.
Confucius says, “They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.”
No. seriously, he did say that.
Last saturday on a busride to bugis,I thought of an interesting question. Who are you.
Or rather what defines you. What were you when you were formed in the womb, suspended in amionic fluid. What if you lost the things that defined you in the eyes of others. Like, if you could play an instrument really well, or talk really eloquently. And you go mute or something. Will you be satisfied with what’s left behind. The essence. There have always been rude awakenings of people our age dying. Like the suicide case this year in school. I wonder how many have long buried it in the pleasant banters along our corridor.
It feels kinda sucky that your life is neither here nor there. Outside you’re pieced perfectly together. Inside you’re kinda screwed up, and you wish you could be either perfectly fine, or extremely screwed over. I read a quote that said “smile, because everyone is fighting their own battles” how true.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
After my theatre class met act3 today. went off to plaza sing. and then to kovan.
Borrowed this bk called “Train Man”. really special, the whole book is in an internet forum layout. And also got 2 vintage movies. Hey, they were selling cheap. 2 for $10. kaching. I’m poofed (aka tired).
poofed,
Vbec
p.s.
A·bra·ham Audio Help /ˈeɪbrəˌhæm, -həm/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[ey-bruh-ham, -huhm] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation
1. the first of the great Biblical patriarchs, father of Isaac, and traditional founder of the ancient Hebrew nation: considered by Muslims an ancestor of the Arab peoples through his son Ishmael.
2. a male given name: from a Hebrew word meaning “father of many.”
3. null
___________________________________________________________________________________
This line above displays the death of my studies (i.e. 0 heartbeat). die, dying, dead.
Been to orchard 3/4 times last week. snores.
Been slacking 24/7.
Not anymore though. Parents are going away for church retreat, with my sista. And my grandma’s gng over to my cousin’s place. So I’m Home Alone! So exciting ((((: Yesyesyesyyesyesyesyesyes
POWER BANGA.
Nigel came over and crashed my place on monday. LOL, then there was this ketchup/chilli mishap at Jack’s place. I thought the table was so hackin’ small. So i placed the ketchup and chilli bottles at the side of the table on a curb like surface, to acheive a higher amount of exposed sruface area to facilitate reaction between the consumer and the food. And the staff came and replaced it. And they were standing from afar speculating where the bottles went, and laughing to themselves. hahaha. Watched Narnia with my god brother. eeks. And had mpac day. Which was funn.
fat toad.
Inside my head.
Is a broiling toad,
Bumpy, thick skin of metallic
Green-cellulite. The verdant
fields. Expunge it.
That lips. unspeakably
foul. foul. F-O-U-L.
Fetid are its insides.
A bottomless brooding bleakness
His stare. Dilated black pearls.
A glaze. The asinine strata of feigned
ease. I saw him, the other day.
In the silver pond.
Where light meets, the
traffic warden.
Encroaching the essence. of
miss elf.
my.
And.
In the night.
I realised.
I am the knight to slay the beast.
So are you. Whatever.
Toad. Should. Corrode.
yourself.
Abraham
Not used to studying in june at all. I wish there were 36 hours in a day. Cause there are times when you stop in your tracks. And all you can hear is white noise. You’d like to ask ‘what now?’, ‘where am i headed?”. But the impending death bed forbids, time to ponder such trivialities.
Anyway, thought this would be interesting. Picture a large expanse of sea. And choose an adjective for it. It describes how you view your life at this point in time. I chose confusing. =/
Plop yourself in the middle of that expanse. Now you duno where the shore is. You duno which direction to swim towards.
I’m not gonna write you a love song~ 
,
Vbec
P.S. Betty Botta bought some butter.
“But,” said she, “this butter’s bitter.”
“If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter.”
So, she bought some better butter,
Put it in her bitter batter,
Made her bitter batter better.
There’s so much to speculate. Like whether he’s on helium or not.
Sitting back looking at him, I wish I could tranquilize him with a….., erm, tranquilizer gun?
No comments,
Vbec
P.S. Double-u Tee Hedge
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