下过雨的
夏天傍晚
我都会期待
唱歌的蝉嘿
把星星都吵醒
月光晒了很凉快
就是这样回忆起来
第一次告白(初次告白)
尴尬的我看
爱装得很哲学的你其实
很可爱
Vbec
To see a different side of life as presented on fmylife.com, check out:
givesmehope.com, which is also now my homepage.
Vbec
Yesterday I laughed so hard till my heart was aching. Not in a figurative sense.. It either means that bao and tina were too hilarious.. or time for exercise. I was mugging wit kevin, lisa and tim.. apparently they haven’t seen the cadbury eyebrow advertisement. Which goes to show how TVee deprived they are. lol. So here it is:
Idealism directed inwards can sometimes be destructive. In times of intense pressure you think thoughts that you KNOW would become silly in a day’s time. And being with my friends helps to dispel any build up of negativity in me. While I treasure the bliss of solitude, friends take it to another level. Also, I’ve been snooping ard my home of 15 yrs.. (I think) and trying to see my home from an outsider’s point of view which makes things rather interesting. I prefer my sister’s sun-drenched room, but wouldn’t give up my room’s spaciousness. Alth I can’t even switch off the lights in the morning. Otherwise it’d be too dark 
. It’s give and take. Life’s give and take. Opportunity cost. Tsk. The internet is the bomb.. can’t live w/o it. The immense possibility, the amount of information you can access through it, makes you wna cherish it more, and exploit it like never before 
.
Vbec
P.S. Uhm, the real song has crude lyrics. So.. just a heads up (for you kevin).
~~~
Have you grown callous from barren wonders?
Shed that thick unfeeling kernel that has become your mettle.
Plowing dimensions of the unmentioned.
And finding only decay.
Oh casanova,
Your deepest vendetta
Was cast against yourself.
Weather-beaten wayfarer,
Travelling incognito,
This you know:
Gravity is from within.
Love, also begins from within.
Vbec.
To myself lol:
The aegis of time under which I’ve been hiding; Is getting thinner by the second. I have never felt this nonchalant.. and injudicious before. Never in my life. I fear this is my undoing, but I’m ready to pay the price. The workload is so immense, I’ve locked myself in inaction. The snoowball effect has reached it’s peak. Now I know only one thing drives me, and only one thing holds me back. That is my fear of failure. Before I even begin I have condemned myself to fail. With me, It is, and always has been all or nothing. I want to go work in 7/11. Take a gap year. And look at society from the bottom. Why am i dreaming? Back to studying.
impending doom.
Vbec
Be a man, Do the right thing. Tho the gap year still sounds nice. Econs.. GG to the max..
145 new cases. MOH wants us to treat H1N1 like the seasonal flu.. Maybe it is like the seasonal flu.
Let’s see what happens this week.
“INFPs seek unity in their lives, unity of body and mind, emotions and intellect. They often have a subtle tragic motif running through their lives, but others seldom detect this inner minor key. The deep commitment of INFPs to the positive and the good causes them to be alert to the negative and the evil, which can take the form of a fascination with the profane. Thus INFPs may live a paradox, drawn toward purity and unity but looking over the shoulder toward the sullied and desecrated. When INFPs believe that they have yielded to an impure temptation, they may be given to acts of self-sacrifice in atonement. The atonement, however, is within the INFP, who does not feel compelled to make public the issue.”
I think i’m not purely infp anymore. As in, I used to be extreme infp, but it has watered down with time. More pragmatic values have been instilled within me. I’ve learnt from my friends about proper social skills, and coping strategies and whatnot. I used to feel intensely isolated from everyone, like INTENSELY. But now I’ve been desensitised. It’s no longer black and white. It’s sometimes grey, and.. colorful. I think the whole point of this meyer-brigg typology thing is that once u discovered your traits, you have to bring what is excess, into moderation – which kinda makes life insipid. I do miss being that extreme, awkward person that was so painfully aware. I’ve normalised myself. But fundamentally, a leopard never changes its spots. I am still pretty disconnected from people, and I realise that I hardly establish any close relationships with my friends. It’s more touch-and-go. Yea we do have really meaningful convos. But that’s it. I’ve yet to have that one friend. Some people can make do w/o such a connection. I think I’ve given up on looking fr someone like me. Kinda saddening.. I guess coherent personas (which is the norm) appeal to people more, and that’s the front I try to put on. Maybe because people have this need for order? I dno.
Personally, I ADMIRE people who are steadfast, but I IDENTIFY with ppl who change it up, who are never fixed. Like my love, christina aguilera. She fascinates me on so many levels. I often find it embarrassing to admit this. Cuz, u noe, its just not a guy thing to like her given her garish bubblegum pop background… But I say, what’s wrong wit that?.. Though she may not be the brightest or the most poetic, she’s constantly asserts her identity and choices she make, no matter how flawed they are. She’s able to rise above people’s opinions and her troubled childhood. She’s a walking paradox as well. She sings about taboo topics and religious themes within the same album. The social mask many put on today is one of consistency. Any side step from this expectation is returned with disapproval. But behind this dissimulation, everyone has a sexual and religious side, and many other sides..
I think I identify with her because her stripped album came out during a period of time in my life when there was a lot of inner turmoil. And the first time I heard her voice I had shivers and goosebumps. I think i’m obsessed with her. I listen to a wide array of music, but with her, its just another level of devotion. I also recently found out that Bill Watterson’s Calvin is an INFP. No wonder I love the comic. This was the first song I heard from christina.
And u gta watch this. She’s dressed as a nun:
Vbec
P.S. I know I write a hell lot about myself. Maybe Im egocentric. But I’ve always had this drive for self-discovery.
Taken from:http://www.alpheratz.f2s.com/keatsian-ideas.htm
Negative Capability:
‘At once it struck me, what quality went to form a Man of Achievement, especially in literature, and which Shakespeare possessed so enormously- I mean Negative Capability, that is when man is capable of being in uncertainties. Mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason.’ – Keats
‘being capable of eliminating one’s own personality, in order imaginatively to enter into that of another person, or, in extreme cases, an animal or an object.’
The phrase was coined by Keats in the very letter to his brothers, as quoted above.
The whole concept is a bit hazy, probably because his own identity is precarious, and he was continually being invaded by the identities of others. The person of fixed opinions, such as Wordsworth, enjoys/suffers from the ‘egotistic sublime’
In his letter to Bailey, Nov 1817, Keats affirmed that ‘Men of Genius’ do not have ‘any individuality’ or ‘determined character’
Another letter to Woodhouse Oct 1818 defines ‘the poetic Character’ as taking ‘as much delight in conceiving an Iago as an Imogen’ adding: ‘What shocks the virtuous philosopher delights the chameleon poet’
In another letter, Keats says that the ‘poetical character… has no self- it is everything and nothing- it has no character and enjoys light and shade; it lives in gusto, be it foul or fair, high or low, rich or poor, mean or elevated- it has as much delight in conceiving an Iago as an Imogen. What shocks the virtuous philosopher delights the camelion Poet… A Poet is the most unpoetical of anything in existence, because he has no identity, he is continually filling some other body‘ <— Edit: sry to disrupt the your flow of thought. But this sounds wrong.
Wow. What if you are uncertain about your uncertainties? To be able to hold two ideas that are antithetical without an impeaching sense of irritation requires a veritable mastery over one's need for certainty. Certainty is an illusion. Reality is always in flux. Obviously Hegel didn't have 'negative capability', as seen from his whole thesis, antithesis, synthesis worldview. Maybe.. the acceptance that two opposing ideologies can simultaneouly exist IS the synthesis. Hmm.
F Scott Fitzgerald: "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function." Maybe the bulk of my frustration stems from my need for an absolute truth regarding all situations. To every situation, I used to believe, there has to be a right decision, opinion, or direction to take. But maybe there isn't any and all are equally valid.
The problem with ppl like keats is that, sure, they are a rarity, but they possess no apparent value or social significance in today's pragmatic, utilitarian, and over-bureaucratized society. They perceive and perceive and can’t do anything relevant enough to increase society's awareness. The strength of poems as mediums of change has been subjected to the attrition of the empirical domination of the present times. Kinda reminds me of Siddartha's Samana phase like how he transfuses his soul into objects and animals. Hesse has 'negative capability'. I think that's why I gravitated towards Siddartha's character. He was unassuming.
I tend to approach all lit texts with this voracious hunger to scour every detail innit so as to unconver the teleological intention of the author. I guess that’s why I have a preference for Wordsworth’s poems, as opposed to Keats’. When I first read Keats’ poems in upper sec. I was like wtp? NOT exam-friendly. But then again, his purpose is to convey passion, and induce sensuous appeal in the reader. It elicits an aesthetic response to the text, rather than an intellectual one. Maybe one day I could be like him.
Oh.. who am I keating,
Vbec
92.4 FM “It’s just you and the music”
Nope. It’s my EE, me, and the music. In that order. But instrumental pieces really helps me to concentrate you guys shuld try it out?
Vbec
Dwayne:” You know what? Fuck beauty contests. Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work… Fuck that. And fuck the Air Force Academy. If I want to fly, I’ll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and fuck the rest.”
In my opinion… a chicken’s gta be a chicken and an eagle’s gta be an eagle. No one should make one feel inferior to the other. I know ppl who dropped out of school and are even more intelligent then others still in school. Life is full of untrue stereotypes. And this movie is for the underdogs. No one can make you feel inferior, unless you let them.
I realise also that I’ve begun to fear literature and not love it. I have so much self-doubt over something I once thought I knew I could do.
Vbec
You gotta love a girl who farts and apologizes. I swear she is the funniest girl in school.
Sometimes people use the word love and hate in such a hackneyed manner. It undermines the true meaning of these words.
Love is polyvalent.
vbec
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